What The?
by Zuriyan
Summary: Rei wakes up with a hangover and some rather impressive hikies. Without any memory of the previous night, the Neko begs his three Russian friends to tell him what happened. Tala and Bryan break into fits of laughter and Kai is looking particularly smug.
1. Where am I?

_A/N: Ok, here we are darling reader. You and me, about to embark on a hopefully amusing, and yet quite interesting journey of the Neko. This is the new version of what I had posted before, of the title Hunh?. This is a FAR better version, and I hope that those who had read the old version would like to read this one. Thanks to all of the people who reviewed, unfortunately those reviews are now gone. But just because you reviewed previously does not make me any less eager for your updated opinion._

_**Warnings: **Yaoi, lotsa lemon, a fair bit of stupidity, some (limited) drug use, quite a bit of alcohol use, inappropriate use of FIRE, and much swearing._

_**Extended Summary: **Rei wakes up with a killer hang over, scratches on his back and some impressive hikeys! The poor Neko has no idea where they came from, or what he did the night before. Kai seems to know something about it, but the team captain isn't saying. Tala and Bryan break into uncontrollable sniggering every time they see Rei, especially when he stops wearing his scarf, and the once unfeeling Kai seems far more smug than is usual. What did Rei do last night? Who did he do it with? And more importantly, how much did he drink?_

_Theo's notes: I went to town here, editing city. The last version of this was not so much short as it was miniscule. I still think that the Zuri should have posted it as a one-shot. But seeing as the rest of the chapters haven't either been converted to this format yet, or written, that is kind of hard. Anyway, I didn't sacrifice any plotness here, I just added a bit here and there to make sure that it was a decent size. Hmm... anyway, there is a bite for the first chapter, and a munch for the second, even if I haven't finished editing it. I shall complete that as soon as possible so as to satisfy you sooner! Anyways, enjoy dear!_

_**Chapter Warning:** Swearing, nakedness, and severe hangoveredness…_

_**Disclaimer: **I do not, own, and probably will never own Beyblades, or any other program for that matter. I do however own this plot, and if I find that someone has used it without asking... I'll cry in a corner pathetically._

_And so, on with the fic!_

--

**Hunh?**

_'Time to wake up Rei.'_ A small, more than slightly evil voice whispered in the corner of the raven haired male's mind, shaking him from his almost dreamless sleep. The teen refused to open his eyes, but he could feel the dawn light beginning to seep across his unclothed body from the window, a grimace crossed the sleep wrinkled face. The light itself had not yet reached said face, but because that tiny, ever present voice had spoken, there was no turning back, no rolling over and going back to sleep. A groan escaped the lips of the tanned teenager as he desperately tried to cling to those last little wavelets of sleep… but to no avail. A pout appeared on the pristine features.

Bloodshot amber eyes flickered open and squinted into the half light. They closed again tightly, before reluctantly re-opening and looking away from the offending light. The eyes viewed the ceiling with resentment. It was unfamiliar, neither belonging to the Dojo that he had shared with the Bladebreakers, the bus that he often slept on whilst travelling to and from his home, his own bedroom back in china, nor was it quite befitting a hotel room. This brought curiosity into the depths of the slightly red optics. Where was he?

With a grunt, Rei forced himself to sitting position, his eyes scanning the strange room, one hand on his suddenly spinning head. He tried to remember where he was, but either sleep was still fogging up his brain, the headache had eaten the knowledge or he honestly didn't know. Arching his unexpectedly stiff back and yawning widely as only a Neko-Jin can, he attempted to climb off of the low futon. He was almost alarmed as his body half refused his command, acting sluggishly and instead of a graceful slither to feet, he awkwardly half clambered, half rolled both off the futon and into a slumped standing position. The delightful popping and clicking of joints which he usually would have enjoyed grated against his ears, and though it helped make his back feel slightly better, he rubbed his sensitive ears. Why was everything so loud?

The symptoms were fairly obvious, Rei thought, assessing his current body status. A dry mouth, light sensitivity, not quite loud noises almost physically hurting, a headache that could floor a walrus, stiff bones, zombie like reflexes and a mental blank when trying to remember the actions of the previous night, or his whereabouts… they all pointed to a fucking brilliant party the night before… but he couldn't even remember what day it was, let alone going to a party, so the idea of remembering the drinking itself was out of the picture. Hell, his brain hurt just trying to remember where his clothes were.

The thought was slightly unnerving as the amber eyes scanned the well furnished room, searching for some form of clothing to cover his nakedness not only so that he could find the bathroom without shocking anyone he happened across but also because of the fact that preserving his remaining dignity was a high priority. He tried to spy his own clothing, but to no avail, the only thing that came to hand was a fuzzy white bathrobe with an elegant pair of falcons motive embroidered on both the back panel and the front pockets. It was nice, Rei had to admit, pulling the soft fabric over his smooth skin and securing it with a gold tasselled sash. Pulling his hair free of the robe, he realised that it was down, and again, he wondered where he was and more importantly, what had gone on the night before. A grin adorned his beautiful face, whatever it was, it must have been good.

Stretching again, and finding that his back and shoulders were both stinging and sore in the muscles, the cat like teen cracked his knuckles and looked around the room again, flinching slightly as his eyes made contact with the brightening window.  
"Ergh… you must have been mixing drinks last night… bad kitty. You should know better." The talented beyblader muttered, turning again to face the apparent exit. "You can drink Sake or Vodka till it comes out of your ears, but mixing gets you floored fast, I thought you'd learned from that time Lee bet you couldn't drink him under the table." He reprimanded himself, shaking his head like a mother would. "That cost you a lot of money, not to mention the hangover from hell." He muttered, rubbing his sore head gently.

Rei was now faced with a choice of two doors. The one on the left was painted a beautiful cream colour, lighter than the ivory coloured walls and had a brass handle, the frame was simple wood, though it was dark wood and stood out beautifully against the light walls. The other door was painted the same colour as the other, though it had the same two falcon motive that was on the bathrobe embossed in the door in gold, matching the frame, which was edged in gold. This door appeared far more official, and it was further away from Rei than the other door, so he chose the slightly ajar, left hand one.

The bloodshot golden eyes widened at the interesting sight that greeted him. It was a bathroom, complete with dark marble tiles, columns and a waterfall style shower, classy and most likely very expensive, just like the mahogany doorframes and cathedral style beams on the roof. Everything in the room screamed either five star Hotel or rich person's house. It made the Neko even more curious about his whereabouts, and who it was he was with. The teen's eyes were drawn to the most interesting thing in the bathroom, the mirror. It had a golden knot work design around the edges, and was polished to a high shine, showing the reflection of the room flawlessly. Rei walked towards it, happily looking at himself in the beautiful and expensive looking mirror.

Until he saw something that made him pale with terror.

There, either side of his slender, most beautiful neck, were two large bruises. The eyes widened, and he leaned in closer, investigating each of the marks with curiosity. One was bruised to a dark, almost red purple, with four scabbed puncture marks, and a circular indent, it was obviously a bite mark that had drawn blood, the bruising here was super tender, and he flinched when his hand reached up to touch it. The other mark was almost three times as large, spreading from the spot where his ear met his neck, down to the apex of his shoulder. Though not as sore, this huge purple bruise was still obviously a hikey, and it was sore, explaining the stiffness of earlier.

The Neko hissed in shock as he ran his hand over his handsome neck, flinching, as the pair of markings rebuffed him from further touch investigation. A grin crossed his face, stained only slightly with pain, this night was looking better and better. Now, if only he could remember who it was he was with, and where he was, then everything would be fine.

Filling the bathroom sink with water, the dark haired blader washed his face and hands, running his wet hands over his neck to cool off the dull pain and relax his muscles. Checking himself out in the mirror again, he whimpered slightly, noticing that the bathrobe was slightly open, revealing another of the slightly painful bruises. He opened the robe fully, and the eyes widened in shock again.

"What the fuck did I _do _last night?!?"

--

_Heh heh heh. Ok, so this one is slightly more adult than the last one, but I kept to the same plot. A cliffy I know, but there you go, an interesting beginning to a far more interesting story... one hopes._

_  
Anyway, thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Unrelated Explosions of Random Words? Well I hope you know that all are all very much welcome, and remember, flames shalt be used to light bonfires with. Sarcastic responses are all that shall be gained from such things.  
_

_Theo notes: Yeah, anyway, so what did you think? Better? Worse? Hmm, the humour wasn't quite as prominent, but this relates pretty damned closely to something that actually happened to the Zuri... not too long ago actually! Heh heh, anyway, thanks for reading and I'll shut up now._


	2. What Happened?

_A/N: Here's the next chapter! Yay for those who are reading. Obviously the first chapter is good enough to keep you reading, glad you enjoyed! There is almost no resemblance to the second chapter of the past, except for the same plotline of course. So if you're looking for a tagline that you liked SORRY!_

_**Story Warnings: **Yaoi, lotsa lemon, a fair bit of stupidity, some (limited) drug use, quite a bit of alcohol use, inappropriate use of FIRE, and much swearing._

_Theo's notes: This one, as before is extended and much mroe adult. There's a quick flash of action, and a few more Yaoi overtones, unlike before.As previously mentioned, structure is basically the same, but it's a different story, completely different style. A umourous situation, as opposed to gag style._

_**Chapter Warnings: **Swearing, nakedness, yaoi overtones, a bishie in denial, shot of lemon, alcohol use, severe hangoveredness, and overuse of flashback…_

_**Disclaimer:** We don't own beyblades, nor will we ever own beyblades, unless we both suddenly come into quite a bit of money on one of Zuri's hairbraned schemes..._

_And so, on with the fic!_

---

**What the...?**

"What the fuck did I_ do _last night?" The words echoed around the marble bathroom as the Neko investigated his chest which was speckled with bruises, all the way down to his...  
"Kami... maybe the correct question is '_who_ the fuck did I do last night?'" Rei dropped the bathrobe and investigated himself closely, he had scratches on his back, obviously claw marks from fingernails, but apart from that and the massive amounts of hikeys, he was unhurt. He knew the signs, and now it was obvious, he had had some sort of action the night before… what a pity he didn't remember _any _of it.

Putting further investigation into the happenings of the previous night was put off for the near future in preference for the use of the proudly displayed facilities of this marvellous bathroom. Rei was not too fazed about loosing the past night to alcohol, it had not been the first time, and would definitely not be the last. Standing before the porcelain bowl, he rubbed at the back of his neck, wondering who it was that had scratched and bruised him all up.

_**Flashback**_

Teeth painfully sunk into the left side of the black haired Neko's neck, searching for the vein as hands danced lower and lower, caressing shoulders, chest, and then belly. Rei's mind, already fogged by the alcohol, swum further under the intense combination of pain and pleasure, the breathing was hard, as hair managed to cover his face, some lips pressing against his own.

And then, there was a third mouth, on the inside of his right knee, moving up…

_**End Flashback**_

It must have been someone, correction, somone**_s _**enjoying themselves.

The dark haired blader groaned slightly, the image so close to being clear before bubbling away like the shadows of a dream. Sighing slightly and shaking his head, he flushed, did up what he now deemed as 'his' bathrobe and headed back into the bedroom to see if there was something that could clue him as to where he was before he came into contact with the possible other people in the house/hotel.

There were few clues, nothing out of the ordinary in the drawers, in fact, they were practically empty. On the floor there was only a red scarf, a pair of gloves and some combat style boots. Each of these items were strangely familiar to the Neko, as he looked around the room. He walked over and picked up the scarf, as he did, a very recognizable scent floated into his nostrils.

Kai Hiwatari.

_**Flashback**_

"Stay and have a drink! We have the good, local stuff. You haven't lived 'till you drink Russian vodka in Russia with Russians speaking Russian." The voice was cocky, almost to the point of being arrogant, but the words were also mildly slurred… the Russian himself had been drinking a little too by the sounds of things.

_**End Flashback**_

Of course, Rei could not remember if it was that he had lived or not, because he couldn't remember what had actually happened that night anyway. Well at least now he knew at least one of the culprits. Hopefully Kai was still around, so that the Neko would not be in a place with a whole bunch of strangers.

Next, the hung over blader looked at the gloves, but they were clean, and had no smell besides laundry detergent and Rei's own scent. Not much help, nor did they particularly remind him of anyone specific… though he did once meet someone who wore white gloves… who was it again?  
"Whatever. I'm sure I'll find out soon anyway." The Chinese teen muttered, looking to the boots, he barely needed to pick them up before he was overwhelmed by the smell of feet, male hormones and something that said 'I'm human'.

The scent was familiar, but refused to clear in his mind. The alcoholic overtones were strong, and reminded him of vodka, lemon, and something else… something…

_**Flashback**_

"Is that what you call a drink?" a mocking Russian accent asked, the face belonging to it inches from clarification. "No… that's not a drink, here have one of these. It'll give you _real _hallucinations!" A glass was filled, with not one, but two liquids, ice unceremoniously thrown into it, along with something green… chopped herbs? The clinking noise of the ice was loud in the laid back atmosphere of the room, distracting the Neko from further analysis.  
"Sure." Rei's own voice answered, smiling cockily. "I can take whatever the hell you guys can throw at me"

_**End Flashback**_

Obviously not.

The raven haired teen shook his head, a strange smile on his face at his own stupidity. Never challenge a Russian. Wait; make that never challenge a friend of Kai's, because they would have to be half as crazy as Kai himself to actually be his friend. Rei paled at the thought… what if it was Kai and his friends who…

"Don't think that Kitty. You'll just scare yourself stupid and give yourself a wonderfully hard…" he decided at that point to cut himself off. That wasn't supposed to be said aloud. He _was not_ homosexual, nor did he decide that the idea of Kai and his friends all over him was sexually arousing. Kai was _not_ the one who had given him all of those hickeys and scratches…

The Neko held back a sigh as he thought this.

"Unfortunately."

It was now time to decide his future, was he going to wear the scarf and try to hide the fact that he had giant bruises all over his neck therefore drawing attention to it, or was he going to simply not bother and hope whoever didn't notice? Or option C, just display them with a sheepish grin and try to look as un-hung-over as possible.

C was the best idea.

The bloodshot eyes squinted slightly as his head made a painful throb. Damn he needed to get something to eat, and maybe some painkillers. Walking over to the door with the Falcons on it, he gripped the handle and turned, opening the door and stepping onto thick carpet.

"Keep your fucking voice down Red; you don't want to wake Sleeping Beauty."

--

_Hee hee, I know that I said I would put the other three into this chapter. But I could not resist waiting. The ending was a bit cliffy, but you know how it is with temptation. Sorry that I put so many flashbacks, but I thought that they would make up for not seeing the other three.  
_

_School's finished for the Zuri, so the updates /should/ be faster now. Though I am not going to make too many promises... I have things that I said I'd do in the holidays that I probably should do too._

_Anyway, I would love your thoughts, comments, and any suggestions that you can give me. Believe me I'll love you. Though if you flame me, beware, I am prone to explosions of random words in response to that. If you review, try to guess who made which hikey, the bleeding one on the left, the ENORMOUS one on the right, and the many many all over the body were all done by separate people. Tell me who, and you could win a prize._

_Hope you enjoyed! See you in the next chapter! Z+T  
_


End file.
